Let's, Like, Write a Blog!!
For some damn reason, I happen to catch a recent episode of
As a society, we seem to be getting dumber and dumber, and nowhere is it more evident than on mainstream television and in our sorority girls.
Heres a typical conversation and be sure to use your valley girl imagination. Picture a bunch of hair flipping, eyes rolling, and considerable amounts of giggling.
- Bimbo #1: Are you, like, so totally excited about tonight?
- Bimbo #2: Like, for sure! Ive been, like, waiting to see Ashlee Simpson since she was totally, like, hounded for lip-syncing on Saturday Night Live.
- Bimbo #1: I SO know what you mean! They totally, like, wouldn't get off her for it.
- Bimbo #2: Oh my God! You are so right! I mean, like, who cares if she cant sing! Shes totally hot!
- Bimbo #1: Totally!
Gag me!
Ive always wanted a daughter, but I worry every night that shell end up speaking like one of these half-brained I mean, quarter-brained Abercrombie tramps. The safety of my future child doesnt worry me, nor does her access to drugs and alcohol, but if she ends up conversing in tramp-jive, Ill send her to military school.
Why do girls speak this way? There are many mysteries in life, and this is certainly becoming the most frustrating to me.
When you use the word like more than once in a sentence, and answer totally with totally, you need to sit at home and work on your personality.
Where do these girls expect to get in life with a vocabulary like that? No one takes them seriously! Guys arent dating them for their intellect, but rather their credit cards, style, and willingness to give a good hand job. (Sorry, had to throw that in there.)
Everyone has their celebrity crush, and Angelina Jolie, Eva Longoria, and Jessica Alba are all very worthy hotties, but mine is by far Mandy Moore. Forget the bad pop music, or the teen movies. Shes blossomed into a sexy, elegant, respectful, and well-spoken woman.
The next time youre watching VH1 (and I know all of you do), catch her on a countdown show. She enunciates, speaks properly, has a vocabulary, and commands respect.
I'm thinking about starting a revolution, and it'll be the "End the Tramp-Jive Movement." Anyone with me?
Labels: Blondes, Laguna Beach, Mandy Moore, MTV
