Easter Faith...
If religion were only so easy.
It's probably much easier than we want to believe, but it appears that 'we' are what make it so complicated.
My spiritual journey has become increasingly more complicated over the last two years. While it began in 1998, many answers have never become clear until 2004. The problem, however, is that the more answers I find, the more questions arise.
With my type-A personality, I searched for "definitive proof," or "confirmation of my beliefs," however those never came. The relentless argument between science and the church prevent a person seeking answers with an opportunity for clarity.
Church, for me, does nothing. It gives me no pleasure, brings me no satisfaction, and offers me no fullfillment. While some find this upsetting, I believe the antithesis to be true.
I truly feel a personal relationship with God. I believe he hears me, watches over me, and offers perpetual guardianship as I walk through life. We are in constant communication.
My thoughts on the Baptist church are well documented, but the underlying reason may not be.
When I left the Lutheran church at 17, it was because I found something in the Baptist church that I had yet to find anywhere else: fulfillment. They play to human emotion so well, and do a wonderful job of making newcomers feel welcome.
Once I got through the smoke and mirrors, fair or unfair, I felt betrayed. While I knew the doctrine was different from the beginning, I didn't appreciate the way I was lured in with the love of God, only to be told time and time again I was living my life the wrong way.
The Baptist church fulfilled my soul, yet destroyed it some years later. Since then, I've begun a new search.
After self-teaching and personal discovery, I cannot lend my heart to one particular set of beliefs within the denominations of the Christian church.
I believe that Jesus was married, yet to the church, this is unfathomable. Furthermore, I do not believe Eve ate an apple (while in actuality, chapter 3 of Genesis never mentions any specific fruit), but instead, believe the "fruit of the tree" was actually her own sexuality, and that her sin was a sexual affair with Satan.
These two points, however, I cannot prove. I can only come to conclusions based upon my readings of biblical text, Apocrypha/Deuterocanonical books, and the philosophy of historians.
I can prove these points to you no more than a person of faith can prove Jesus healed the sick, or turned water into wine.
Faith is the source.
"Because the Bible says so" doesn't work; the Bible also advocates slavery.
There are too many inconsistencies in the Bible for that argument to be valid. I've concluded that statements beginning with, "In the Bible, Jesus said..." isn't what God intended for us to learn.
The love he hands to others, the acceptance to even the worst sinners, and his ability to put even the most innocent of circumstances into perspective is what I hope to learn. It's what I hope everyone can learn.
When we try to get specific regarding what God wants, we lose the lessons that are most important. When we tell a gay man he's a sinner for his lifestyle, we put distance between God and ourselves, yet we forget that passing judgement is just as punishable, in God's eyes.
We have no right to judge, yet we judge every day, and it's become so commonplace that we don't even realize we've fallen victim. One day we'll understand that it's the journey that matters most, not the actions, circumstances, or situations we find ourselves in.
If we were only less pretentious...
Maybe soon, we'll understand that while knowledge equals the loss of innocence, ignorance is bliss. Knowledge is growth, and the more we learn, the more we realize we have absolutely no idea...
It's probably much easier than we want to believe, but it appears that 'we' are what make it so complicated.
My spiritual journey has become increasingly more complicated over the last two years. While it began in 1998, many answers have never become clear until 2004. The problem, however, is that the more answers I find, the more questions arise.
With my type-A personality, I searched for "definitive proof," or "confirmation of my beliefs," however those never came. The relentless argument between science and the church prevent a person seeking answers with an opportunity for clarity.
Church, for me, does nothing. It gives me no pleasure, brings me no satisfaction, and offers me no fullfillment. While some find this upsetting, I believe the antithesis to be true.
I truly feel a personal relationship with God. I believe he hears me, watches over me, and offers perpetual guardianship as I walk through life. We are in constant communication.
My thoughts on the Baptist church are well documented, but the underlying reason may not be.
When I left the Lutheran church at 17, it was because I found something in the Baptist church that I had yet to find anywhere else: fulfillment. They play to human emotion so well, and do a wonderful job of making newcomers feel welcome.
Once I got through the smoke and mirrors, fair or unfair, I felt betrayed. While I knew the doctrine was different from the beginning, I didn't appreciate the way I was lured in with the love of God, only to be told time and time again I was living my life the wrong way.
The Baptist church fulfilled my soul, yet destroyed it some years later. Since then, I've begun a new search.
After self-teaching and personal discovery, I cannot lend my heart to one particular set of beliefs within the denominations of the Christian church.
I believe that Jesus was married, yet to the church, this is unfathomable. Furthermore, I do not believe Eve ate an apple (while in actuality, chapter 3 of Genesis never mentions any specific fruit), but instead, believe the "fruit of the tree" was actually her own sexuality, and that her sin was a sexual affair with Satan.
These two points, however, I cannot prove. I can only come to conclusions based upon my readings of biblical text, Apocrypha/Deuterocanonical books, and the philosophy of historians.
I can prove these points to you no more than a person of faith can prove Jesus healed the sick, or turned water into wine.
Faith is the source.
"Because the Bible says so" doesn't work; the Bible also advocates slavery.
There are too many inconsistencies in the Bible for that argument to be valid. I've concluded that statements beginning with, "In the Bible, Jesus said..." isn't what God intended for us to learn.
The love he hands to others, the acceptance to even the worst sinners, and his ability to put even the most innocent of circumstances into perspective is what I hope to learn. It's what I hope everyone can learn.
When we try to get specific regarding what God wants, we lose the lessons that are most important. When we tell a gay man he's a sinner for his lifestyle, we put distance between God and ourselves, yet we forget that passing judgement is just as punishable, in God's eyes.
We have no right to judge, yet we judge every day, and it's become so commonplace that we don't even realize we've fallen victim. One day we'll understand that it's the journey that matters most, not the actions, circumstances, or situations we find ourselves in.
If we were only less pretentious...
Maybe soon, we'll understand that while knowledge equals the loss of innocence, ignorance is bliss. Knowledge is growth, and the more we learn, the more we realize we have absolutely no idea...
Labels: Christianity, Philosophy, Religion
Wow, i dont know if you could have put that any better. i think all church going people need to read that because they often get caught up in what fulfills them that they miss a big picture. Im not a big church going person, i couldnt tell you the last time i went to church but im also the kind of person who needs proof. im not saying i dont believe but show me something. then again im at peace with myself because i understand that i control a lot of what goes on in my life and what makes me happy. maybe im getting at something else here but i like what you said.
Posted by
Rickey Di Dio |
May 7, 2007 at 3:38 PM
Out of curiosity, what makes you think Jesus was married? I know you had written something about the book Holy Blood, Holy Grail on myspace--was that it, or where did this idea originate? Just wondering.
Oh, and by the way, well said about the passing of judgment! Imagine what these people could accomplish in the time they spend judging.
Posted by
Unknown |
June 30, 2007 at 4:33 PM